Always the Bad Story

I rejoined Facebook recently which is probably a mistake. I clicked on a post, the title of which was The Chinese Adoptees Who were Stolen. I am disheartened that the New Yorker, a reputable magazine, would choose a sensationalist title to get "likes." One cannot read the article on Facebook which encourages readers to subscribe to the magazine. Advertising at it's most obvious. I went to Google and found this article. By no means is this a verifiable work. The article is a summary from a book by an author who was a foreign correspondent. She has written about other horrendous events in Asian countries.

The stories in the article are heartbreaking. Essentially only one family is highlighted. Given the intense political situation, levels of poverty, secrecy in government, and a variety of living conditions in different provinces of China, I am somewhat skeptical of these findings. The article is a human interest story not one based on verifiable data.

The adoptee in question was told by her adoptive parents that she was abandoned, a common occurrence in China during the 1990's. According to the girl's birth father, the baby was stolen. He did not witness this event. His wife disappeared with the baby. The birth father was matched to the adoptee through a mail-in genetic test. To prove paternity, I would think a more sophisticated test would have been used. What makes this entire accusation more questionable is that a middle man in Utah coordinated the search for the birth father in China. He has set up a company for this purpose, so he makes money from these "searches."

I am certain that corruption occurred in all of the countries that permitted foreign adoption. China was especially complicated given the one child law, placing parents in untenable situations when they gave birth to a girl. Traditional Chinese culture did not value girls as much as boys, who had the responsibility to care for the parents in old age.

I witnessed corruption when my husband and I adopted from two Latin American countries. However, this involved a group of professionals who received payment for legal, medical, and immigration procedures. My husband and I joked that $20 gave you anything you needed, from a pediatrician's exam to a passport. I never saw our birth mothers, or those of other families, in duress. I agree that stealing babies is always a possibility. The potential for evil in humans is boundless. I visited orphanages, crowded with abandoned toddlers and infants available for adoption.

This is not a new issue. The media seems to revisit international adoption periodically. A story about a stolen infant insures that the readers will tear up, shake their heads in disapproval, and feel the self-fulfilling emotion of righteous outrage--in short buy more magazines. Every few years I have to confront these "news stories." They invariably report nefarious goings-on in international adoption.

I am an adoptive mother. These spurious stories are hurtful to adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.

Adoption usually occurs because two parties are confronted with trauma--1) an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy 2) infertility. Loss characterizes adoption, whether it be a couple unable to conceive or the relinquishment of a child. All the parties involved will live with their grief for the rest of their lives. Parenthood is extremely challenging. Adoption can be more so. One's dreams that a nurturing environment can overcome an early history of poverty and its myriad consequences will usually be dashed. This is another loss to endure.

Searching for one's birthparents--with its inherent risks--is another matter entirely. Every adoptee has the right to do so. Birth parents own that right also. There are those in our world who feel that adoption is open to criticism--that birthparents must always be victims or that every family is capable of raising a child. Often, adoption is a huge plus for a child's health and education during the childhood years. In addition, many birth mothers have been able to postpone parenting and develop their adult cababilities before jumping into motherhood. Finally, abject poverty is the most common reason that parents must relinquish an infant in foreign countries. Usually, single mothers choose adoption; the male partner is absent. Improved birth control and education will continue to decrease the amount of unwanted children. Abortion is often not a choice in many countries.

Sensation sells news especially stories which describe harm done to children. Adoption is a viable means to start a family and a way to allow birth mothers to make choices about unwanted pregnancies (when abortion is not an option). I hope the media will stop using international adoption as a punching bag.

https://www.newyorker.com/news/american-chronicles/the-chinese-adoptees-who-were-stolen

©Karen Levi 2025