BUMPED MY HEAD

I bumped my head on my car door. Not the fault of the woman who honked, but she did startle me. My driver's side door was open. I was bent over reattaching the floor protector when I heard honking. I stood up too quickly and bumped my head. With arms on my hips, I looked at the woman with that look. At first she laughed, but then her expression changed to annoyance.

Clearly, I was angry at a selfish driver. Why did she have to park in the spot next to me when there were many other parking spots available?

This may seem like a trivial matter. However, some of my most irritating moments--notwithstanding completing forms for the government--are in parking lots and gas stations. These environments provide me with the evidence that our civilization has plummeted to new depths of self-centeredness. The reader may think I have lost my mind. But consider this--if my neighbors and community members cannot show decency while driving in a confined space--how will we cooperate on the larger issues? If a gas station becomes a place of chaos and anarchy, we are in trouble. Why are the residents in my condo speeding into the garage to park? Is all of this behavior a sublimation of internalized anger? Everyone can make a mistake, but what I observe is too repetitive to be a momentary lapse. Children and teenagers are learning this behavior by modeling adults.

Thinking of others is a value that I learned very young, probably in my family and in elementary school. I never considered the importance of the Golden Rule--do unto others as you would have them do unto you--until I witnessed the opposite behavior. When I attended Graduate School in Boston long ago in the 20th century, I was shocked at Boston drivers; they were mean. Then I was introduced to New Jersey shoppers and drivers, similar situation. I moved to the Washington D.C. area, and I was relieved that people were less assertive in public places. That kinder, gentler environment is long gone.

Yes, I am an older person, so I am less tolerant, in general. But driving way over the speed limit, cutting in front of others in a line or while on the road, littering, and swinging by my small car in a huge SUV with inches to spare just to get somewhere faster are all examples of people not thinking about others. More examples, if the above did not convince you--not recycling properly, ignoring rules in an apartment building which are meant to help all the residents, leaving dog poop on the sidewalk, playing loud music in the car with the bass turned way up, shoplifting (you would not believe what goes on in retail) running stop signs and red lights, and transacting business deals vociferously in the local Starbucks instead of in an office or at home.

The egotistical actions I see in my comings and goings are reflected in our national life. I do not believe the current leadership in Washington D.C. has caused the problem. Being a narcissist, he merely tapped into people's selfish instincts. None of us are purely altruistic. I also know that unkind actions beget more, eye for an eye, etc.

The current government demonstrates how bad actors can change a country. Let a narcisstic leader gain power, one who takes and receives what he desires, who finds the worst instincts in people, and here we are. Supporters of his regime frequently comment that they do not want immigrants or people less fortunate to take their jobs, money, and neighborhood. Experience has proved that most recent immigrants take the jobs Americans do not want. Neighborhoods are meant to share. No one owns a community. Modern history is replete with examples of dictators following this pattern with tragic results. Americans have the uncanny ability to ignore what has happened in other countries and view these often unfortunate situations as warning signs. Since 2017, we have seen what selfish, powerful people have wreaked.

People can be incredibly generous and kind. Then they jump in their pickup truck and drive 80 miles an hour on a 60 mph highway. Blind spots for sure, sometimes we need to be reminded that we are not the only drivers on the road, shoppers in the store, or members of a community.

A scary transition to consider is a path from self-centeredness to criminal behavior. Individuals who are psychologically balanced can discern the difference between double parking on a busy throughfare and committing violence. I wonder if criminals demonstrate an extreme sense of entitlement, i.e. if my life went wrong, others should suffer too; he/she took my turf; I want those shoes. Of course, there are many other reasons for crime that stem from personal and societal problems.

Based on some of the current governmental actions--the threat to demolish The Kennedy Center, terminating the soft power of aid in poor countries--I cannot help but think that the people who made those decisions began as selfish individuals.

© Karen Levi 2026